Honour. Sportsmanship. Fair play. These things mean absolutely nothing on the Blood Bowl pitch. All that matters is scoring a Touchdown no matter what that takes – and if the ref’s not looking, one might even risk bending the rules… But in a game with so few rules to begin with, where do you even start to cheat? Joel from the Warhammer Community team is a particular devotee of Nuffle, and presents his guide to the darker arts of the deplorable game…
Foul play
The most obvious trick in Blood Bowl is to kick a player when they’re down. Or shank them, or give them a once-over with a chainsaw.
For those uninitiated in the less elegant side of the game, a player who is Knocked Down or Stunned is eligible for you to Foul. This is a special, once-per-turn action that bypasses the Block roll and goes straight to the Armour roll – which means you are that much closer to causing damage to your opponent, even with a weaker player such as a Goblin. And for every free player surrounding your target, you get to add 1 to the roll, compounding all that lovely violence.
This is a key tactic for Stunty teams who generally lack the Strength to make many favourable Block rolls. So once you do knock someone down, you’ve got to make it count. Goblins, Underworld Denizens, Snotlings, Halflings, and the like should really be aiming to Foul every turn of the game.
Of course, if you roll doubles either on the Armour or Injury rolls, the ref is going to try and send you off. Which is why you either use cheap, unskilled players to do your dirty work, or you invest in Bribes – a pre-match purchase that can persuade the ref to look away on a 2+. You’ll want access to the maximum amount of Bribes every game, which means keeping your Team Value low – and sacking any Stunty player who’s had the temerity to pick up too many Skills. A Goblin with three Skills is still a Goblin, after all.
But let’s not be too hasty – there are certain Skills that’ll aid and abet your ill intent. Dirty Player adds 1 to an Armour roll, and should be taken by your dedicated fouler, while Sneaky Git stops the ref noticing doubles on your Armour rolls. Balancing useful Skills with useless bloat is the art of Blood Bowl coaching.
Secret weapons
Still feel like you’re at a disadvantage? Certain teams have access to Secret Weapons. These come in all shapes and sizes and can do plenty of damage. But only one drive… usually.
Players with the Bombardier skill are great for a defensive drive, especially for teams that tend to cage up.* When the other team makes their play, a Bomb could well break the cage and send the ball flying. Or you could miss, drop the Bomb on yourself, or find it thrown back at you. These players could definitely do with levelling up into skills like Accurate or Cannoneer.
Chainsaws are great on the offence, as they allow you to jump straight to the Armour roll and add 3 to your result – useful for getting rid of some pesky big guys. Once again though, if you roll that 1 you may be taking your own player off the pitch in a stretcher.
The trouble is, Secret Weapons stay on the pitch for just one drive – unless you have Bribes to spare. Given that you can only stockpile a maximum of three Bribes, it’s important to know when to bring these players on, when to keep them benched, and when not to waste them on a regular Foul. For instance, if someone scores a touchdown in the sixth down, do you really want your Chainsaw on for just two more turns?
Surfing
This technique isn’t cheating, exactly. It’s just very annoying. Hugging the touchline is a way of keeping your ball carrier safe from opposing Blitzers, but it comes with a downside – you don’t want to end up in the crowd, who’ll force you to take an immediate Injury roll, and you won’t be allowed back on the pitch until the end of the down.
That’s all in the rules, but what if you optimised for surfing? Most simply, it means Blitzing the ball carrier from the side, rather than on the diagonal, so they’re forced off the pitch with the Push Back result on the dice. If you can’t manage that, you can place other players in the spaces where your opponent would be pushed, channelling them off the field. Very advanced coaches might wish to study the dark art of chain-pushing.
To play into this technique, Frenzy is a great skill to have, since you can potentially get someone off the pitch even when they’re not on the touchline. Just make sure you have a lot of back-up, or you might end up with unfavourable rolls. Grab is another great skill for getting an opponent into just the right place.
Stalling
Classic Blood Bowl doctrine states that the best kind of victory is a 2:1 scoreline – score when you receive the ball, and prevent your opponent from doing the same. If you score too early, you might give them enough time to receive the ball and get it back into your End Zone before the end of the half.
So if you find that your offence has gone too well, and you’ve a player in a scoring position on the third down, you might consider stalling for a turn or two. This means keeping your player safe by screening them with teammates, and knocking potential Blitzers over before they can get to them. It can be risky against teams who can slip through your Tackle Zones, but each down you deny them makes it harder to hit you back before the whistle blows. Is it cheating? Not exactly. Is it powerful? Absolutely. Is it annoying? Intensely.
Know the odds!
This is Blood Bowl’s version of counting cards in blackjack – knowing the statistics is a major advantage, particularly when it comes to your chances of failing and calling a Turnover. Using a player with the Block skill to tackle an opponent has a 17% chance of failure if they are of equal Strength, for instance. Without Block, it’s 33%. With an assist, those chances become 11% and just under 3%. With re-rolls and other skills in the mix, the odds shift again.
Every coach needs to know the risk of the action they’re taking and consider the odds. Did you know, for instance, that a player with Block has a better chance of knocking down a player of equal Strength than one who’s stronger but doesn’t have the skill? Blood Bowl is full of calculations like this.
* This is a common technique that involves surrounding a ball carrier with players on the four diagonal points to protect them from incoming Blitzes.
